The following is a list of questions from the Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, commonly called “the twelve and twelve”, which my sponsor asked me to answer (as briefly as I’d like) as part of my moral inventory. Q: When, and how, and in just what instances did my selfish pursuit of sex [...]
After all that’s been said, everything that’s been done, I hope that my experience can benefit others. I’ve taken the opportunity to do my 4th step, which has brought together all my hurtful behavior into one metal coiled scribbler. My moral inventory scribbler is on a stool in my kitchen, waiting to be continued. I’ve [...]
Step 4 of the A.A. Twelve Steps: Made a searching and moral inventory of ourselves. The point of the fourth step is to ‘clean house’ after sobering up; to unload some emotional baggage. I am currently getting through my fourth step with the guidance of a trusted female sponsor from my A.A. program. Up to [...]
Pain. Wailing, screaming, crying, pain. Before I told him it was over, I listened to him recount his painful childhood of emotional and physical abuse. I heard him yelp like a small animal that had been stepped on as he choked back his sobs. He said all the abuse that he suffered in his youth [...]
Tonight was cold and rainy. I was glad I had changed my spring jacket for a hooded rain jacket this afternoon. As if I knew all along that I’d be leaving suddenly from his apartment tonight. I walked off the front path of his building and onto the sidewalk, resisting the urge to look up [...]
A pamphlet in the Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous fellowship told me to try six meetings before deciding if SLAA was for me. I just had my second meeting a few days ago. Meanwhile, I’ve been feeling strange, disconnected, and not sleeping well. I drempt of D. last night, someone I haven’t even thought about [...]
Signs and Characteristics of Love Addiction: * Lack of nurturing and attention when young * Feeling isolated, detached from parents and family * Compartmentalization of relationships from other areas of life * Outer facade of “having it all together” to hide internal disintegration * Mistake intensity for intimacy (drama driven relationships) * Hidden Pain * [...]
The following is the list provided by the S.L.A.A. program. 1. Having few healthy boundaries, we become sexually involved with and/or emotionally attached to people without knowing them. 2. Fearing abandonment and loneliness, we stay in and return to painful, destructive relationships, concealing our dependency needs from ourselves and others, growing more isolated and alienated [...]
Last night, I did my first S.L.A.A. meeting. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. I got to the building where the meeting was being held, a YMCA with several offices and floors. I figured the meeting would be in the basement, and quickly made my escape to the staircase spiraling down. Downstairs, I found a large [...]
Steph was my first boyfriend in about a year, despite having dated, slept with, and pined over many men. The men I’d been with during that time of my life either couldn’t put up with my substance-abuse behaviors, didn’t see me more than someone they could party with, or would randomly disappear. Once in awhile, [...]