I’ve been away for far too long. Imagine what happens in two months.
A pregnancy scare, ‘scare’ being the key word.
The phone call to an ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend, that I could dramatically state I’ve been chasing through other people for the last two years. Don’t get excited; he didn’t answer the phone nor did he call back. I’m forgetting it ever happened, and perhaps someday, I’ll forget he ever existed.
More interestingly, there was the man I met at the cafe.
My therapist commented, rightfully so, “He’s the only one you’ve referred to as a man.”
To which I replied, “He is a man, a much older man. P. could be my father.”
I would like to write about this some more when I have a chance.
In the last two months, I watched a great movie called High Fidelity, in which the main character very much resembles my personality: a neurotic, over-romanticizing depressive who has trouble looking at the obvious. The movie ends well, and I’d like to watch it again before doing a full review of it.
Obviously, there’s more to come. For the time being, I’ve been keeping up with my personal recovery through AA and CA meetings, talking to other women about my problems in the program, and keeping out of trouble, if only by a single hair. Hey, what can I say? I’m an addict. I love trouble, feeling the rush, and cutting it close. So close, that my therapist asks me, what would you have done ?, an alarming amount of times.
I’d either wish it had happened, or wish it hadn’t happened.
I am an addict. Living a normal life is just never enough.
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